This is offered as an aide to those that may face the task of giving care to a leukemia patient. It is not all-inclusive but is rather a primer with some basic thoughts that should be recognized, understood and considered during this time of their life and yours.
1. It’s not their fault.
There was nothing they did that created this problem. Leukemia is not contagious or hereditary. Nothing about their lifestyle contributed to the onset of this disease.
2. It’s not your fault.
There was nothing that you did or could have done to prevent the onset of leukemia. It develops from a mutant genome within the system of the host, for which you had no control or responsibility.
3. They and you should not feel defeated by the diagnosis.
Today’s medical science is making great strides in the treatment of leukemia. Though the treatment is not easy to endure for the patient or the caregivers, in many circumstances, it is extremely effective and a large number of patients experience remission as a result of the treatment. Nonetheless….
4. Treatments are not easy to endure or to watch.
It is imperative that you stay upbeat and positive for the emotional well being of the leukemia patient. Regardless of periodic news that you may receive that would otherwise indicate that the situation is dire, recognize that these are only “snapshots” of the treatment and that the outcome is not determined by these snapshots but by the entirety of the treatment.
5. Listen closely.
The medical staff that is attending to the patient is constantly providing information with respect to treatment regimens, drug dosages, treatment timetables and protective measures. There will be times when the patient’s immune system is compromised and extraordinary measures must be taken to insure their safety from bacterial and fungal infections. Heed this advice and those warnings. It is easier to prevent complications than it is to treat and cure them. Yet, with this being said, …..
6. Let the patient “live”.
As much as possible and within medical reason, try to let the patient do as much as they want to do to live their life as they desire. Living with the disease is difficult enough, without having to live in a vacuum. Physical constraints will prevent them from doing a lot without the necessity of emotional constraints that tend to sap their creative and motivational initiative. Though difficult to watch, when you are uncertain of their safety, the benefit of knowing that their actions, if not blatantly harmful, provide some sense of emotional well-being for them, should provide sufficient satisfaction to allow them to live life as normally as they would if they were not stricken with the disease.
7. Gather a support group.
There are friends of the patient and yours that want to help. Don’t shut them out. It is unfair to rob them of the satisfaction of providing some form of assistance when they offer it with a generous spirit and with sincere compassion. Don’t rob them of the opportunity. If they offer a meal, take it. You don’t have to eat it. If they want to stop by the hospital and the patient isn’t feeling well enough for visitors, meet them in the hall. This support group means well and, if there comes a time when you need someone to lean on, they will be there for you and they need to be aware how much you genuinely appreciate their concern and generosity.
8. Lean.
This is a difficult situation. There may be times when you question a higher power as to why it occurred. That’s normal. Try to convince yourself that no higher power would wish this on the leukemia patient. That higher power will, however, provide the patient and yourself with the strength and courage necessary to face the trials that leukemia creates. Try to lean on the knowledge that this life, as complex as it seems to be, is preordained by a plan that we, as mortals, are incapable of fully understanding. We are not in control. And, though current events sometimes seem more than we can comprehend, in time, it will all be revealed to us so that we can understand and accept it.
9. Never give up hope.
As said before, setbacks occur. Take them for what they are, setbacks. It’s never over until it’s “over”. Miracles do occur daily and can in this situation. You and the patient are dealing with the “totality” of the treatment. The individual segments, though sometimes challenging, may be stepping stones for complete remission and cure. Keep that hope alive and encourage the patient each day, regardless of the daily challenges.
10. Rejoice.
Expound on every bit of good news provided. Doing so will be emotionally uplifting for both you and the patient. Verbalize the positive aspects of treatment and the positive results it generates. Say them out loud and make them stronger with your validation. And when, you receive the news that the patient no longer suffers from leukemia, throw a party and celebrate that prayers have been answered and the patient is “cured”.
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